When you look into my eyes, do you see how tired I am? Do you see how hard I have worked or care that I have trouble sleeping? Day in and day out I wake up and accomplish something then move onto the next task. Do you feel the weight I drag behind me? Do you hear the hint of exhaustion in my voice when I speak? What thoughts do these questions illicit I wonder. I remain on a never-ending journey to find more questions to ask, and these questions come to me when I observe myself in the mirror. How many of us take the time to look into our own eyes and truly try to understand what motivates ourselves. I know many of us already believe that we know, but I am not convinced when I hear others speak about themselves and what they focus on. I am no better at understanding than anyone else and I do not ask these questions in the way a sage to a student would. No, I do not have the answers, nor do I claim to. I am not even sure that if the answers were available, I would even be willing to learn them; how presumptuous of me to assume that responsibility and attempt to teach others what I believe they should know. No, I will not rob them of the opportunity to experience and learn the answers for themselves. I am not on a misguided mission to enlighten or become enlightened, I am here to live, love, and be loved. Come what may, I remain ever vigilant of myself and of others motivations. Consider this though, when you look in your eyes, what do you see?
The topics I choose to write about are as varied as my moods. At times I can be curious or theoretical about something specific or so vague that myself am not sure what I'm talking about. I do not always know where a thought is going and I have a tendency to go around in circles without really going anywhere. Like this description, I do not generally seek an answer nor do I seek to answer others questions. Instead I continually seek to question everything; however I always invite answers and do not wish to discourage others. I'm far more interested in the idea of nothing than trying to comprehend everything. Think for example of a shallow pool of water on black concrete and imagine that instead of the concrete beneath the surface of the water, it's actually a bottomless pit. Almost makes you hesitate to stomp with joy in the shallow water for fear of falling doesn't it. Enjoy.